My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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