She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
