I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
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