at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Randomize
