you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I just found puke in my bra..
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
