absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
i wish my penis had a tongue
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
