What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
