think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
27 People Confess The Worst Jobs They’ve Ever Had
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
25 People Confess Their Terrifying Stalker Stories
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.