So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man