I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know