it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet