we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
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the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
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Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start