I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Randomize
