told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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