why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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