I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Randomize
