he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
