hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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