Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
