Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
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She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
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We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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