I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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