Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Randomize
