I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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