I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize