R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
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He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
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I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
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