All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Enjoy the penises
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
