PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Randomize