Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize