I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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