end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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