she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
