Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
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