she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
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