She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize