Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
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