Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize