bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
