Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize