so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
