And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize