Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
