That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Randomize
