3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Randomize
