just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
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