well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize