i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
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