Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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