quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
