at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
