I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Last time i carry you out of a forest
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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