i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
