So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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