My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
