yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
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Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
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New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
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