I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
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