I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
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