So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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