he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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