Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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