How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
